Walk on the Wild Side .
When did you and your children last dam a stream, skim stones or build a den together? Chances are it’s been a while. Our children are in danger of losing touch with the wonder of nature as they spend far more time indoors than was usual a generation ago. Parents often feel it is much safer for their children to play indoors, which is odd given who and what they may account on their computer screens. It seems that we are allowing our fears about the dangers of outdoor play to outweigh its enormous joys. Outside in the real world, on the streets, in parks, woods and fields, we have to use our ears and eyes and judgement, and take responsibility for ourselves and each other. Only in recent years, when fear of litigation has created a culture of excessive health and safety has that become such a novel idea. As Lady Allen of Hurtwood, campaigner for children and advocate for more challenging playgrounds once said, ‘Better a broken arm than a broken spirit.’
Outdoor play has lots of obvious benefits for children: fresh air and exercise, of course, a break from the all-pervading grip of screens, but it teaches other essential skills such as risk assessment, decision-making, planning and co-operation – all of which can only be learned by actually doing them.
The National Trust has launched a new website 50 things to do before you’re 11 ¾ to help get children (and their parents) back in touch with nature. Summer may be over, but that doesn’t mean we have to draw the curtains and stay inside (and many of the suggestions won’t cost you a thing).There are still blackberries to be picked, conkers to be found, leaves to be kicked and trees to be climbed. Get out there with your children and enjoy them.
US television channel HBO interviewed children of divorcing couples and invited them to make up the rules for how their parents should behave.
See a trailer of what they had to say here:
Helping Children Cope with Separation and Divorce
When adult relationships break down it is the children who suffer most. They often feel that what has happened is their fault in some way. They may feel powerless. Here are some suggestions to help them.
Let children know the divorce or separation is not their fault
Allow them to express their feelings and acknowledge and accept those feelings
Give them the information they need about practical arrangements
Let them know it’s okay for them to love their mother and father equally, just as they did before the separation
Support their relationship with the other parent
Let them know they have two homes and are equally welcome in both – don’t make them choose
Give them discipline and boundaries as well as love
Reassure them you still love them and always will.
If you do not have contact then keep in touch by phone or skype, send them letters, emails, texts, facebook, myspace, twitter – this gets much easier as children get older and have independent access to technology.
Criticise the other parent
Use your children as messengers and spies
Use them to retaliate against the other parent
Make them responsible for adult decisions
Make them your best friend or confidante
Undermine the other parent’s routine (bedtime, sweets, homework)
Place blame about why the divorce happened
Try to win their love by ‘outbuying’ the other parent
Discuss the details of the divorce or separation
Stop contact or child support to punish the other parent
Whatever has happened between you and the other parent, your child’s welfare must come first.